There was a long line-up at the Kohl’s checkout counters. Ezra, Lian and I were standing near a mirror, so I decided to show Lian some of the clothes I was buying for her.

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Me: “Try on these shorts.”

 

Lian: “Daddy, they’re not shorts, they’re swimming trunks.”

 

Lady standing in line: <snicker, snicker>

 

Me: “I get this all the time. Yesterday, she said, “You’re not my Father. You’re my Daddy.”

 

Lady standing in line: <laughing loudly out loud>

 

Lian and I stand back in line with Ezra.

 

Ezra: “Were you talking behind my back?”

 

Me: “No. I was just telling the lady about Lian. I said these were shorts and Lian said they were swimming trunks.”

 

Ezra: “Well, Lian, they ARE shorts.”

 

Lian: “They’re swimming trunks.”

 

Ezra: “Lian, they are shorts.”

 

Lian: “Swimming trunks!!!”

 

Me: “Ezra, please stop arguing with your sister. You will make your life and my life a whole lot less stressful if you learn to stop arguing with her. Even if you think you’re winning, you’re going to lose in the end.”

 

Lian: “Daddy, tell Ezra they’re swimming trunks.”

 

Ezra: “Shorts.”

 

Lian: <shouting> “Swimming trunks!!!!!!”

 

Me: “Peace, peace. No more fighting. Be quiet.”

 

Pause. Quiet. 1 second, 2 second, 3 second….

 

Ezra: <whispering very, very quietly> “shorts”