There was a long line-up at the Kohl’s checkout counters. Ezra, Lian and I were standing near a mirror, so I decided to show Lian some of the clothes I was buying for her.



Me: “Try on these shorts.”


Lian: “Daddy, they’re not shorts, they’re swimming trunks.”


Lady standing in line: <snicker, snicker>


Me: “I get this all the time. Yesterday, she said, “You’re not my Father. You’re my Daddy.”


Lady standing in line: <laughing loudly out loud>


Lian and I stand back in line with Ezra.


Ezra: “Were you talking behind my back?”


Me: “No. I was just telling the lady about Lian. I said these were shorts and Lian said they were swimming trunks.”


Ezra: “Well, Lian, they ARE shorts.”


Lian: “They’re swimming trunks.”


Ezra: “Lian, they are shorts.”


Lian: “Swimming trunks!!!”


Me: “Ezra, please stop arguing with your sister. You will make your life and my life a whole lot less stressful if you learn to stop arguing with her. Even if you think you’re winning, you’re going to lose in the end.”


Lian: “Daddy, tell Ezra they’re swimming trunks.”


Ezra: “Shorts.”


Lian: <shouting> “Swimming trunks!!!!!!”


Me: “Peace, peace. No more fighting. Be quiet.”


Pause. Quiet. 1 second, 2 second, 3 second….


Ezra: <whispering very, very quietly> “shorts”